04 Oct Do we have capacity to receive the love we are looking for?
Have you ever met someone who just seems love others with no agenda whatsoever and wanting nothing in return i.e. total selfless love?
Why is it that when we come across these beings, we feel jittery around them? Why is it that we feel the exact opposite feelings than the feelings of love and connectedness spoken by them?
When love (or what we think is love) is a coupling love or a one to one relationship to the exclusion of everyone else, it seems so often to attract a drama like a Shakespeare play where we shout from the roof tops “I LOVE YOU”, “I WOULD DIE FOR YOU”, or “I HATE YOU”, “YOU HURT ME”, “YOU ******* *******”. It is like our happiness depends on the other, because it is so personal.
With this being our most common experience of ‘Love’ relationships, when we experience authentic love in another being, being poured on everyone but which can feel as intimate as a one to one relationship with nothing expected in return, it challenges all our notions and previous conditionings on love.
I am sure we have all met someone whose love and affection appears limitless, such that it can feel overwhelming, too intense even. We can only take it for a certain amount of time before we need to leave the room.
What makes these beings unforgettable, is that their love is available to everyone – it is not tied up to one person, there is no personal love in it. Which is why we feel it is so deep and transformative. But at the same time it stings our ego, which always wants a personal love, to be held out as special, to be the ‘one’. We are racked by the need to be special. And so the very love that is all encompassing and which attracts us to these beings, can trigger our ego like nothing else. And all hell can break lose internally and externally.
Oftentimes, we recoil when we are met with so much love. We don’t understand it. We question why are they doing it? There must be a reason…. When something is too bright, we shrink back. And at the same time, we are attracted to the magnetic force of that love, like a moth to a flame. So we want the love, but we also want to shrink back. We want the love, but we cannot withstand the ‘ugly’ feelings that come up when met by such love. We want the love, but we cannot give ourselves totally to that love. And in the end, we want to be saved by that very person we are shrinking away from. Like in the movies.
This love however, is more expanded than anything we have ever experienced in everyday relationships or watched or read about.
So, when we do not make ourselves available to receive this unending love, because our ego cannot accept the impersonal nature of it, we ask questions of that being like “why do you not want me?”, “why are you rejecting me?” We put this on the other person rather than taking full responsibility that we are not ready to receive such love and the consequences of it. We are almost looking for a verbal expression of rejection so that we can say “I KNEW it!” and allow ourselves to spiral into a vortex of negativity. Or we want them to say “I do want you” and then we are soothed momentarily until the next barrage of thoughts come to tell us otherwise.
But these beings. They have no agenda. They are simply available. Their love is pure. And it shines a light on all that is in us that is not pure, negative and inauthentic – and that does not make us bad and nor should we judge ourselves for this, but it is an opportunity to observe our thoughts and see ourselves more clearly. By seeing ourselves more clearly we can discern the truth of our being and our connection with each other. And that is the blessing of being with those who love.
Our saadho sangha family are blessed to be guided by Sri Anish, a friend whose love knows no bounds.
With gratitude to the masters known and unknown who have shown us nothing but Love.